The War Nobody Wants – But Everyone Fights
Posted July 26th, 2012
This is insanity!!!!!
Divorce isn’t quite the ugly word it once was. It’s worrying that it has crept in to society with a creeping normalcy. Death by a thousand cuts if you will. These days, if you are in a marriage that has stacked up a good share of air miles, particularly if it’s a first marriage, you are in somewhat of a minority (or at least a blissfully silent majority). Bitter ex-wives, greedy ex-husbands. Mud slinging, smear campaigns, petty (often unfounded) accuations, mysterious hidden bank accounts (so well hidden that even the accused has no idea about them). Where does it stop????
Divorce may be the end all, but it certainly isn’t the be all. So things didn’t work out and your dreams of co-habitual bliss have fallen by the way side? That doesn’t have to be forever. Nobody wants a lengthy drawn out divorce, yet couples increasingly move on to the playing field and stay there long after the final whistle should have been blown – the level of injury time would make even Sir Alex Ferguson blush:
This grab all, keep all or destroy all mantra that besets otherwise reasonable, rational individuals almost appears comical – that is if it were not so tragic. If we took two people (often it could be argued that there is really only one arbitrator behind the proceedings) who were fighting an issue out in this way outside the realms of marriage and divorce dispute, then surely psychologists would be brought in to assess the mental health of the individuals involved. In other words, under what circumstances is it ever ok for two, grown adult human beings to think it’s ok to behave this way? However, when the finances aren’t quite up to this sort of level, another more sickening form of leverage takes its place:
This report may be somewhat sensationalist. Yet it’s hardly surprising. Children are often used as leverage in a divorce with both parties claiming “I’m putting the children first!” Destroying childrens relationships with the respective paternal and maternal familes is tantamount to abuse. It’s unjusitifiable and has to stop. I believe it’s high time the courts and authorities started taking these matters a little more seriously. In fact, scratch that. The courts are already clogged up with petty squabbles between divorcing couples with often less sense of reasoning than the children involved. It’s actually more accurate to say that the adults involved need to start acting like adults.
A smooth, bloodless divorce is not a bad thing. I would never advocate divorce generally. But if a divorce is inevitable (and some things can never be reconciled or forgiven – that’s life) then I can help smooth the path and get you what’s right and fair. However, if your ex-wife or ex-husband is intent on entering in to battle with you then all I can say is don’t join in. The war will carry on without you.
Image credit: flickr.com/O5com
